The monetary Diwali
and how lights make everything okay.
The festival of lights, Diwali.
I told my brother a while ago how the festival craze has decreased significantly. He kindly reminded me that just because I don’t celebrate anything or do much at a festival, it doesn’t mean everybody else doesn’t either. That was a nice shut-me-up & I realized I don’t need to grow up this much that I forget to enjoy basic things in life. It would be too boring. So, I applied this to my brother as well who wouldn’t include himself in anything but actually enjoys the aesthetics of lighting. I was determined to reduce both our rigidness.
Lights have a way of making us feel better. The best thing about Diwali that we all can relate to is how everything is beautifully decorated. My mother and I make our household budget together. We cover everything & every person running a household knows that festivals, especially Diwali, incur a huge expense. Every house in India puts people they know into categories according to their status in society. Everyone we engage with will receive a Diwali gift. Categories determine how expensive or how cheap that gift will be. This is the saddest truth of this golden torch. Passing on the gift is the second most common thing to do to reduce personal gift-buying expenses. But, at the end of the day, looking at your kids lighting candles & diyas, firing up those fairy lights, it makes it all better. We do what we can.
Every shop and every house has a candle lighting in front of it at the end of the day. Wishing happiness & prosperity to come to their door, to stay for the whole year so they can start the candle all over again wishing the same. I remember as a child, my dad being a factory owner would take me to his factory to light the candles and diyas all over the place. We would hand out Diwali gifts to the workers each year including blankets & sweets. The grownups would sit there and pray for a few minutes & the workers would be given crackers to burn afterward.
My rigidness has taken over my emotions to such an extent that I barely celebrate any special occasions & my brother doesn’t do any either. But Diwali has a special place in my heart as it reminds me of my father who loved every single thing about this colourful fiesta. I have 22 years worth of memories of him doing all sorts of things. He and my mom buying gifts for everyone, for his business links to “maintain the relations”, for our relatives. Going fireworks shopping with us kids, wrapping each and every present by hand & taking my assistance in picking out the purple wrapping paper (my fav colour). Stuffing us kids in our family car to distribute the presents and my brother making a face. Bribing us with a meal outdoors in order for us to behave best in front of strangers who get our gifts that my brother and I put dibs on. Every single year of watching him do all this & at the end of day, all exhausted, would take us to our terrace to watch the fireworks & letting us rejoice in the colorfulness of it all.
Losing a cheerful person takes a heavy toll, and this year when I was making the list with my mother, I kept thinking how much stress it puts on people to uphold these obligations. The monetary stress of picking out gifts, looking for discounts, and fulfilling our kids’ happiness; I kept thinking how stressed my father must have been every year to arrange all of it. How stressed every parent is, to muddle through during this inflation and just in general because it messes up our budget big time. Now, I am the one passing the gifts wherever I can to reduce our personal costs. It’s not easy on anybody. Again, we do what we can.
So, in an attempt to soften the blow, I whipped out my lights & asked my brother to light candles with me. He flat-out refused saying he does not care about this at all. I made a deal with him that he would light one candle and one diya, and he agreed reluctantly. Upon lighting one diya, he liked the feeling but why is admittance necessary if it would please a sister? I could easily read it on his face but when I asked, he hid his joy quite quickly. Then, being an annoying sister, I ignored our deal wholeheartedly and made him light all the diyas and candles in our house. He was clearly enjoying it and it made me happy too. Lighting these tidbits is the highlight of my Diwali for me. And, it has been decided that every festival from now on will have some form of participation from me and my family, especially my brother (even if it’s against his will).
Lastly, I wish everyone a safe and Happy Diwali. From my family to yours; From my house to your home, and from my heart to yours.