Recently, my best friend got the opportunity to travel internationally for a vacation. She had never been outside her home country. It was her first time sitting on a plane, her first time experiencing turbulence, her first time figuring out how to carry money & getting currency exchanged, lots of firsts.
She traveled to Dubai to visit her relatives & got to enjoy the little things and the big things of the country. She sent me pictures every day and I got to live vicariously through her. While she loved her time there, we did talk about money several times and how traveling makes you spend more than you would when sitting at home. It’s a given. We both are not huge spenders and take great pride in handling our finances as much as we can; this guilt was hindering her from experiencing the big city. Mind you, she does not shop a lot & collects pieces over time. Knowing she would be there for only 14 days, she bought what was necessary and even then this guilt would eat her up often. This weird yet justified anxiety was talked over and we provided lots of reassurances to our little hearts who trip far too often at the looks of bravery.
We “resolved” this anxiety by talking about how maybe she would never go to that country again. Travel is expensive and she truly enjoyed her time there. Those experiences outweigh the cost. Everything we do has a cost. Whether that’s eating food at home, or outside. And, getting to travel is a privilege in itself which should not be taken for granted. We are firm on that so when that little voice in our heads tries to creep in, trying to make us feel guilty for slowing down and enjoying our life for a few moments, we gotta kick it out. Whether that’s through travel, going out to meet a friend or even just going on a solo date & decompressing. We are already working overtime in our lives. We deserve it.
Below is her message for everyone who may feel the same or has felt the same in the past..
We get so hung up on what could have been and in this process of our thoughts we forget to enjoy and happily remember what it has been. Whether it is a small job or a vacation or any big life event.
We know while doing that we are putting in our best but as we see it going past us, we start focusing on the imaginative scenarios. While it is a good practice to reflect and try to improve, don't let it take away the joy of the work you actually did. Because as I read somewhere, 'Dont stress about the could haves, if it should have, it would have.'
Now whether you 'blame' or assign it to the cosmic forces around us or just in general our luck, that's what we need to believe to gain that peace of mind. When our mind is at peace, that's when we feel like smiling. That's only when we can close a previous chapter or the stanza and look forward to the next one.
The doubts, tribulations and alternate possibilities will always be there. But we need to trust ourselves, trust the timings, enjoy what happens, learn from what happened and move forward as we have a long way to go for living the life and that's what matters, living it!
Thank you for coming to her Ted Talk.